Theatre Reviews

The D-Cup Diatribes

Written & Produced by Melody Swinkcuplogo

Directed by Mark Contorno

D-Cup Diatribes Receives an ‘F’

The D-Cup Diatribes is on stage simply because there was enough money behind it to pay for promotion and production, there is no creative or unique point of view expressed in the writing and not much talent to be seen on stage.

Melody Swink tries to tell a witty story about the influence breasts have on a woman’s life but she is grossly out of touch.  Her stories are told through 7 different women (all played by Sara Tode) but none of them are developed to the point where the audience can relate to them or even care about their personal situations.  Most stories appear to blame men and society’s obsession on breasts for the decisions girls make about their attire, cosmetic surgery and self esteem.  Swink uses an example of a mother that tells her daughter that they she saving up for her breasts enhancement surgery because cleavage is more important than college for a girl.  What!?!  Whose parents would say or especially do such a thing?  In the world that most of us live in cosmetic surgery is the last thing on our mind and not even an option if it was desired.  Men can create an unhealthy social image that is portrayed in the media and is dangerous to the mental and emotional health of young girls, but the women in this skit just chose to be with the wrong men.  These women in Swink’s mind need to stand up for themselves and stop looking to others for approval.

Sara Tode is asked to play a variety of different women from various backgrounds, but she blows it by over acting the stereotypes of each woman and missed completely on the different accents.  All of her blue collar and poorer women (which to Ms. Swink, seems to mean anyone making less than six figures) have an uneducated dialect, the eleven year old kid has a lisp and talks in “baby talk” and her portrayal of a wealthier upper-class lady has a cartoonish prim and proper aspect to it that makes her unbelievable.

Opening night was packed with personal friends and financial donors, yet even they were bored.  Melody Swink was left clapping alone to one of her song parodies when nobody else felt enthused enough to join in.  More than a few of the patrons that arrived excited for D-Cup’s opening were caught sleeping through most of the performance.  Just because you can get the financial backing to produce a show, doesn’t mean the show is worth producing.  Stay home for this one.  Gorilla Tango Theatre offers many inspiring new works, but The D-Cup Diatribes is a failed production.


Reviewed By:  Timothy McGuire

The D-Cup Diatribes is playing through December 19, 2010 at Gorilla Tango Theatre, located at 1919 N. Milwaukee Ave. Performances are Thursday, Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m. All tickets are $20 and a portion of ticket sales will benefit Breast Cancer Network of Strength.

2 thoughts on “The D-Cup Diatribes

  • Mark Contorno

    Dear Chicago Critic,

    I was also at the Opening Night and and I found nobody falling asleep. I also saw a wonderful young actress, Sara Tode, taking three curtain calls for her wonderful talent and effort in putting these 7 women, written by Melody Swink, on the stage.

    As director of the show, I understand that “The D Cup Diatribes” needs nurturing. It was showcased at The Gorilla Tango Theatre, a fringe theatre, solely for that purpose. The author and I needed to see how it might look like “off script” and to assess how audiences would respond to it. Art, like life, is a work in progress and from what I have observed, audiences are loving this “work in progress” called The D Cup Diatribes.

    You’re ridiculous and ludicrous negative critique of this show coupled with your lies say more about you then about the show. I’m sorry you don’t like yourself. Maybe some therapy might help, but in the meantime…don’t take your personal baggage out on people working hard and trying to do their best. Maybe you should try doing the same.

    Mark Contorno
    The Director of The D-Cup Diatribes

  • While I have not reviewed that show, I did notice that all the reviews were negative including one from a reviewer who almost never pans a show. It is most unprofessional for a show’s director to attack a reviewer for being honest in not liking a show. Shame on you for attacking the messenger. You need to try to create a better show. Remember, a top PR firm was hired to get reviewers out to review the show so you brought criticism on yourself.
    Tom Williams

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